Refinding the feel good factor

Last weekend, while I was discussing the viability of a vulnerable friend volunteering in a local charity shop, I did something that surprised myself!

The charity shop in question was unable to accept my friend, as they had no vacancies in their sorting room ( my friend is uncomfortable around people.) Me being me, a conversation  ensued, with the Manageress explaining how they were in need of till staff.  I heard myself asking if they would consider taking me on!!!  I certainly hadn’t had any intention of volunteering there, especially as my role has been as a flexercise leader with older people. I recently had to withdraw from my voluntary job, as it had become too physically challenging for me , which really upset me. I’ve been trying to decide what to do, I like feeling useful but my health has to be taken into consideration.  Hence the reason why my offering my services that day had taken me so much by surprise.

As a total believer in following where the Universe leads me, I realised that this had happened for a reason, so duly filled out the application forms before self doubt got the better of me. I should mention that this shop is one of the busiest in our City, so it would be anything but a quiet job!

At 12.30 today I got a call to ask if I was able to start this afternoon -at 1pm, as somebody had called in sick. Talk about shock!  It was actually wonderful, I didn’t have chance to doubt myself, or my abilities.  I am very aware that I can be clumsy, forgetful & tongue-tied, yet my head told me that I was more than capable. Most of my self doubt has been cultivated through years of depression & anxiety, now thankfully long conquered.

Newly found confidence allowed me to say that I would be a little late, as I needed to have lunch first, which I did. Then without panic or fear, I headed to town. There was no hesitation, I entered the shop, telling myself that I am as capable as anyone else. And I think that I proved it!

It was a really enjoyable afternoon. The staff were welcoming & after introducing me to the wonders of the kitchen & toilet ( vital!) I was left with an experienced volunteer. Thankfully the shop was quiet at first, although got manic later. I have been allowed to take things at my own pace , so haven’t yet used the touch screen till or taken credit cards, but it isn’t much different than using a touch screen computer. I loved it! I am a people person anyway & found a natural affinity with the shoppers, finding it so easy to chat naturally with them all. I was surprised that I managed to sell several of the more expensive items in the locked cabinet – I didn’t really try!  Our sales figure was good, the Manageress was delighted & I felt like I’d been working there for ages!

Where were the nerves?  It was great because I was able to remain seated between customers, so didn’t get too exhausted, met several friends that I hadn’t seen for ages & shockingly wasn’t tempted to buy anything myself! Absolute Win, Win!

I am so glad that I followed where I was being guided & trusted enough, not to try & talk myself out of it.  I have never worked in retail before, although have lots of market & boot sale experience. The job entailed me doing several things that were alien to me, yet there was no mistakes or panic at all! I don’t doubt that mistakes will happen, after all, I’m human, however I can’t wait to go again. Nowadays I am eager to learn new things, life is far too short to shy away from them. 17 years of agoraphobia have taught me that!

The absolutely amazing thing is that all of this, the new courage, the enjoyment of challenges & more, only really came to fruition one year ago when I undertook a sponsored walk for charity. Until then I had always thought that I wasn’t capable. That walk was a catalyst! My life continues to improve day upon day.

Retirement has been the opening up of my life & oh boy am I enjoying it!

Thankyou for sharing my journey,

until next time, take care.

Rosie x😊

 

Too much rushing, not enough doing!

I haven’t written a blog for a while now. Almost everyday I think of things that I’d like to write about, often I even jot down ideas or use my voice recorder ( sometimes reeling off an entire blog ) yet for some reason, I just haven’t had time to actually sit down & write!   Of course when I say that I haven’t had the time, what I really mean is that I haven’t FOUND the time!  Although not really a procrastinator, I do have an amazing knack of losing time. I could blame one of my conditions, fibromyalgia for it, but although that does play it’s part, it’s not the full story.

So what is the full story?

I could write a comprehensive list with many valid excuses for why I don’t get things done, but that would be avoiding facing the facts.  Isn’t that what too many people do when they don’t want to admit simply being disorganised?

I COULD BE IN THE RUNNING FOR THE CROWN AS Ms DISORGANISED 2016.               I am very good at planning.  I excel when it comes to writing lists.  I have a very sharp memory when it comes to the little details, the things that many people overlook, BUT…………………  When it comes down to getting things done for myself, I’m dreadful!    Things used to be very different, I could multi- task with the best of them.  I seemed to find hidden hours, where I was able to fit in a near unbelievable amount of tasks, yet still be standing at the end of the day.  I suppose that being retired has a lot to answer for!  When I had children at home, I had to keep to a schedule, I had to provide meals, do the laundry, feed the multitude of pets, as well as the human variety. Housework would be fitted in & around other things but always got done, bills would be dealt with at the appropriate time.  In  other words, I managed.  I agree that it was always a case of organised chaos, but things did get done.

Now?  I have all day to spend as I wish – & that’s the problem!  I rarely set an alarm, I wake, then get up when I want to.  I amble around my flat in my dressing gown while I follow the necessary routine of feeding my cat, cleaning his litter tray, making my breakfast & so on.  Unless I have an appointment, I shower & dress when I feel like it. There is no pressure. There is very little stress.  I don’t have to answer to anyone.  Meals are made & eaten at random times.  As for housework, the less said the better!      It’s not that I am lazy, far from it.  I keep myself extremely busy, although I do often question what it is exactly that I do all day.  I don’t watch daytime tv. I don’t languish in bed with a cuppa, or spend hours soaking in the bath.   I don’t spend hours chatting on the phone or even waste my days on social media ( although that has been known to happen)   Basically I potter!  I do a little bit here, a little bit there, always intending to get the essentials out of the way so that I can do what is important to me.   Unfortunately I potter about so much, keeping myself occupied, that by the time I decide to settle down to write or read or paint, I have used up all of my energy!

I know about the importance of keeping to a schedule but it is so difficult to maintain when the only one cracking the whip is yourself!  My doctors are forever telling me about taking care of my health, how important it is for me to pace myself. They don’t seem to grasp the fact that to be able to pace yourself, you first of all need to start!   Occasionally I wake early, get out of bed immediately, have myself & cat up & organised by 7am.  I love those days!   I have always been a morning  person, preferring to be up with the dawn chorus, it’s such a wonderful, fresh time of the day but over the past year or so, I find myself still up & fully awake at 3 or 4am. I frequently can be found cleaning the kitchen or defrosting the freezer at midnight.  Unfortunately the early hours of the morning are my creative times, in the stillness of the night is when I am filled with inspiration, when I want to write.  I have tried setting myself a writing schedule, it all looks great on paper, but it just doesn’t seem to work for me.  I know that I could become more disciplined,  but I have had a lifetime of that, now is my ‘me’ time.  However there is so much that I want to do, that I end up doing none of them.

On my fridge I have a slogan that reads ” Always be calmly active & actively calm” I agree wholeheartedly, yet I seem to rush around like a headless chicken ( bad expression for a vegan to use!)  I have been actively decluttering for well over a year now, yet I am getting more & more obsessed by it.  I turn out drawers to clear out the unwanted things that  were kept ‘in case they might come in handy one day’. I now have several empty drawers, yet piles of larger item still scattered around my home, just waiting to go to the charity shop & even more small items waiting to leap into the empty drawers.

Maybe I should give up, shove everything out of sight & blame my illnesses?

Or of course there is a really radical solution.  I could stop worrying about why I don’t find enough to spare time and just actually CHANGE MY MINDSET.                        Time spent worrying, is always time wasted.  Instead of saying that I am disorganised, I could become organised. It is time for me to take personal responsibility for my chaos.   I would tell friends to use positive affirmations, I know how well they can work.

So I will start here & now.

” I have no need to rush, I have all the time & energy that I need. I use my time wisely.”

“I have no need to rush. I have all the time & energy that I need. I use my time wisely”

“I have no need to rush. I have all the time & energy that I need. I use my time wisely”

Now I shall go into the kitchen, make a chamomile tea & get an early night. I have a whole new regime to get up early for!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thankyou for persevering to the end of my waffle.  Maybe one or two of you might find following a similar train of thought useful.  Apparently it would seem that you don’t need to be a procrastinator to procrastinate!

love & light to one & all,

Rosie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

at planning

No questions without answers.

Today I have felt dreadful.  There’s no point in me dressing it up – I have felt absolutely awful!

I had made plans for today.   Depending on how well I felt, I intended going out for a wander around my hometown or if I wasn’t strong enough, I’d stay at home & continue with my decluttering.   What I hadn’t reckoned on was to wake up with a banging headache.  Unusually for me, I had a very disturbing dream,  one of those that you can’t shake off!  Although not a nightmare it was quite unnerving.  I tried to return to sleep but my mind wasn’t going to play ball, it was insistent that I carry the images from the dream around with me all day. Try as I might, it wasn’t to be ignored!

After forcing myself to get up, feed the cat & follow the initial morning routine, I realised that today would be a wipe out unless I got some quality sleep.  Much to my cats’ disgust, I returned back to bed and slept and slept and slept.   I finally opened my eyes well after midday. It took just a matter of a few seconds to know that I actually felt worse, not better!  I am telling you this, simply to set the scene for my pondering.

As some of you will know, I’ve been unwell for quite a while now, which has hit me very hard, especially since I have been flying high for several months prior to this.  During that ‘well’ time,  although still in tremendous pain, I managed to have a very full & enjoyable life.  I knew that I had been pushing myself too hard ( fibromyalgia hates being pushed) so wasn’t at all surprised to have a relapse, but the severity has taken me by surprise.    Enough whinging!    Suffice it to say that a ‘well period’ feels very much overdue!

Thankfully throughout this difficult period, I have remained          ( on the whole) cheerful & have managed to keep depression at bay.   However recently I have been writing a lot,   including a book about a difficult period in my life. As you may understand, this has brought up a lot of previously buried emotions.   Add  to this my support for the ‘Time to Change ‘ campaign, which is trying to eliminate the stigma attached to mental health difficulties (please see my recent blog). and it’s not hard to see that I have had to fight the black dog ( depression) which has been snapping at my heels.  Yesterday was a particularly melancholy day,  not helped by it being the anniversary of my Mothers’ passing, a couple of years ago. All in all it has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster!

Needless to say, I felt unable to go out today & as soon as I began to do any form of activity,  it soon became apparent that that was to be a no no also! The most physical thing that I have achieved was washing a few dishes & boiling some potatoes for my meal.

As someone who has had previous long term agoraphobia, I am very mindful about not allowing myself to go down that road again. Now, especially since I have felt so exhausted, I have been staying at home most days & have been concentrating on my writing.  If I’m honest, I’ve quite enjoyed being a hermit, but in my circumstances it is a risky strategy!    Since not being able to do much else today, I decided to sit & write, except that falling asleep again was all I managed.  After my 3rd or was it 4th nap?  I gave up the idea.     As many people know, when you create a void, something needs to fill its’ space, in my case it was a churning brain, firing questions at me.  I began to worry if I was getting mentally unstable again, but quickly dismissed that idea. But then I reasoned if it wasn’t that, was I being punished for something?  By now getting into dangerous territory, I gave myself a bit of a shake & looked  at what has actually happened.

Yes, I’ve been unable to go out much,  which has had a knock on effect of my spending being reduced. Positive outcome!

Yes, I’ve been forced to take a lengthy absence from my voluntary job.  I found this devastating, but it has helped me to see that when I return , not only will I be more physically able to work,  I will be able to re-evaluate  quite what tasks I should & shouldn’t take on. Resulting in a decision to make a slightly different work schedule. Positive outcome!

Yes, I have missed many groups & clubs.  Result being that I had realised how much I had been burning the candle at both ends.  I needed a rest.  I knew it.  I ignored it.  Now I can see that as a pensioner, with a variety of medical problems, I should prioritise & concentrate on what I need to do, rather than what I want to do!  Life won’t grind to a halt if I withdraw from one or two activities. Life will go on, as will the clubs without me.  Positive outcome!

Yes, I’ve had a lot of spare time on my hands.  Result being that I have used that time decluttering  my home, making it a much nicer, airier space.  Definite winner all round there!

Yes, I’ve had to let a lot of people down, something that I hate doing.   Resulting in being able to catch up with overdue paperwork & also old friendships via social media.  Positive outcome!

Yes, I have been unable to buy fresh food. ( someone does get me essentials).   Result being that I have been forced to use up food from my freezer & store cupboard ( or black hole, as it often seems!)  I have also invented many simple, tasty & nutritional vegan meals & snacks for myself. Some of which I will at some point share on my sister page http:// Rosieways,  howdidisite.com . My kitchen cupboard agrees it ‘s definitely been a positive outcome!

Being unable to do everything for myself , I’ve had to swallow my pride & ask for help.  Result being a lesson in humility that I badly needed.  Positive outcome!

Finally for now, Yes, I have been unable to keep up with housework, laundry etc.  Result, first of all – does it really matter?  Mainly though, enforced resting has given me plenty of time to write, write, write & write some more.  I have wanted to dedicate more time to creative writing, but never found much spare time. In the past few weeks I have actively written more than I would have thought possible. I have created a writing routine. I have sorted out my writing books into one place, easy to find & use.  Have found many interesting websites to aid my muse & have entered a couple of competitions.  Positive outcome!

Although I already knew about not being given questions ( & hardships / challenges ) without being given the answers  (or solutions)It took an enforced rest to help me actually take notice!

The end result to all of this episode will hopefully be a much more relaxed schedule with more ‘me’ time, more space for creativity & maybe even a healthier bank balance.

I certainly have a lot to be grateful for.     Namaste X

Love & Blessings to you all.

Rosie X

 

Having second thoughts?

A couple of days ago I wrote a blog about my experiences with mental health.  Although unintentional, I was actually a lot more forthright than I had intended.  I’ve had quite a reaction to this blog, some saying how stupid I have been to be so open, other, my far the majority, have welcomed & thanked me for my honesty. Well, I’ve reassessed my thoughts about the wisdom of that post & have reached a very definite conclusion – ALthough a little embarrassing, I DO NOT REGRET WRITING IT ONE TINY BIT!

Mental health problems are very diverse, affecting a wide range of people. the range of illnesses affects everyone in many different ways. There is no one pill to cure all. In many cases it is a very long road of trial & error. Depending on the type of mental health problem, some people recover reasonably quickly, some never recover.   Everyone is an individual. One thing that most people have in common is the fight to be recognised as a normal person with an illness, not some freak of nature. This is something that needs to be addressed.

I will continue to speak out…

Rosie

 

Oh what a day

I have always been very much of a morning person, but over recent months I have been finding it a struggle to get started each day.  Fibromyalgia doesn’t help, as one of it’s kind gifts is feeling unrefreshed as if you haven’t slept at all, regardless of how many hours of sleep you’ve actually had.  Apparently it prevents the body from getting into the deep level of sleep that is required – hence fibro sufferers always feel totally washed out.  Unlike many people, I actually have very little trouble with getting to sleep & apart from the inevitable trip(s) to the toilet in the small hours, I sleep fairly soundly. It wasn’t always so. I  used to cope on two hours a night, without any daytime naps either !  I was totally unable to sleep.  I hate using sleeping tablets so read all that I could about sleep deprivation & have implemented a lot of the suggestions that struck a chord with me. Now, as I said, I normally sleep well. Unfortunately this hasn’t helped me wake any more refreshed but I try to get up as soon as I wake, that is until recently!

Yesterday was a really enjoyable day & my head was buzzing with what I had learnt at my writing class so I found myself still writing at silly o’clock , even then having  to force myself to retire.  Finally I crawled into bed, head throbbing from eye strain, legs hardly able to carry me the few paces to my bedroom. I literally fell into bed & went out like a light, stopping just long enough to realise that I didn’t have any commitments today, so I could sleep as long as I needed.

Nobody told my cat!

A couple of hours after collapsing into the world of dreams, Chi ( my cat) decided that it was time to get up.  NO!   After a difference of opinion he accepted that he wasn’t able to win, so we both went back to sleep.  Only to be rudely awoken by a speeding cat, bouncing across my body in his haste to hide away from the person who was ringing the doorbell!   It’s extremely difficult to pretend that you are still asleep, with the trail of blood from cats claws crossing my body.  Too bleary eyed to read the clock, I expected it to be the postmen. I pulled on my dressing gown, bare feet, with hair that would have been a credit to a scarecrow, I dragged myself to the door.

“Good morning, can I come in & fit you new intercom.”   I mumbled yes but my mind was certainly not using that word!  Being a lady, I will not tell your what I wanted to say, but it wasn’t very polite!   By now my cat was sat under the chair, growling at the workmen, glaring at him for daring to disrupt the morning rituals.  As for me – I  wasn’t  sure if I was even in the land of the living,  but my need to use the bathroom told me that I was.  However I couldn’t use it because the man was working there ( I should point out that there are emergency pull cords throughout the flat, not that I need to answer the door via the bathroom😄)   A second workman came in, cat flew elsewhere, I shuffled uncomfortably , needing the bathroom, needing a cuppa, needing to dress, but above all, wanting to go back to sleep……….

Eventually of course, the job was done & normal day should have been resumed, but no, I dragged myself around, as if I was weighed down, legs like lead weights. My head was pounding, I couldn’t snap out of it at all.  Poor cat wanted to play, I wanted to make cat kebabs!   He was safe – I’m vegan.   I bent to pick up his food bowl & lost my balance, reached out to find support, which unfortunately came in the form of a glass dish,  which smashed into a million pieces.  Grrr!   Not what I needed today!    Once I had cleaned up the glass, fed the cat & my fish, I couldn’t face feeding me.  I decided that today was going to be a right off.  I trudged towards my bedroom & caught sight of myself!  What a pathetic sight!   I looked so sorry for myself, it was ridiculous!   I had a frown so deep that I hardly recognised myself.  I stared at my reflection,  Chi was staring at me.  Suddenly the absurdity of it all struck me.   I burst into laughter.  Chi came over to see if I was okay.   No I wasn’t, but I soon would be.

Now approaching lunchtime, I finally got myself washed & dressed, followed by a deep & meaningful conversation with my deity through prayer. After which I gave myself a long relaxing Reiki session.  I had intended to get some pain killers but of course found that I no longer needed them.  I turned on the radio & began to sing along.      Cat purred.  We played.   I forgot breakfast & went straight onto lunch.  Tiredness gone,  I did a lot of de cluttering, letting go of many possessions that I had been reluctant to give away.  Finally, exhausted but excillerated,   I collapsed onto my sofa in the late afternoon.  I began to think about my day.  It had been such a strange day yet turned from negative into positive, simply because of the absurdity of my reflection.

There is certainly a lesson there for me.  No matter how rubbish I feel, allowing myself to wallow is a disastrous move.  I know that if I take a step back,  take a  quiet time in prayer &/or meditation, All negativity dissolves.  Every problem  doesn’t disappear, but they stay in their right context.   I had stayed up far too late,  I had woken badly,     I  had smashed  a dish,   I had a very bad headache.   And?   And nothing!    Nothing dreadful happened,  the world didn’t fall apart, in fact I ended up having a very good day.      All because of those few peaceful moments.

It’s now midnight, I have some writing practice to do.  Goodnight to one & all.

Rosie x

 

 

New Challenges

Once again I’ve had to accept lessons from the Universe.

Today I began to clear out my office.

What had begun as an exciting challenge soon began to tell on my health. I always knew that it was going to be a risk, but one that I felt compelled to try.   Although I am disappointed that I haven’t been physically strong enough to make a go of my new venture, it hasn’t been a wasted experience. Through it I have come to realise that there are many, many things more important than money or status.

I have realised that I get far more pleasure from helping in a charitable format.  The pressures involved in needing to cover my rent & other expenses had begun to play on my mind.  I had begun to doubt myself.

I have worked long & hard to build up the self esteem needed to happily survive as a lone pensioner. I was being unrealistic to think that I could just shrug these pressures off.  Lessons in the form of a several week downturn in my health hit me square in the face!  I was made to understand, in no uncertain terms that although my mind may be strong, my body is not!

Once again I accept the need for the lesson in humility!

I am exceptionally fortunate that being a pensioner, I do not have to work to survive. There is a tremendous freedom about not needing a lot .  I still buy far more than I should, have a close to zero bank balance, but so what?  When push comes to shove, what do I get most satisfaction from?  I don’t smoke, gamble or drink from personal choice. I don’t buy expensive perfumes or fancy clothes, not because I’m deprived of choice – the exact opposite!  I could spend my income on these ‘luxuries’ but why on earth would I want to?

I love the simplicity of my life these days.  I have a busy social life ( too busy!) lots of friends, a lovely home, beautiful companion in my cat Chi.  Vegan lifestyle.  No car.  Few holidays, haven’t been abroad for many years!  But I have a lifestyle that I wouldn’t swap with anyone, or for anything!

I don’t intend to sound smug.  I am aware that many people can’t understand how I can be so happy, at times I find it hard to understand myself!    But then something will happen to put things in perspective again.

Tonight has been such a revelation.

Since deciding, albeit reluctantly to abandon the pressure to make a better income for myself, I have dedicated my time to a charity that is close to my heart.  It is a small mental health charity in Wells , called Heads Up.  There I found the strength & support that I needed to firmly establish myself as part of the human race after years of mental health problems.  I now volunteer there when I am able.   I have also decided to write to help others who find themselves alone, as I was, to overcome whatever may be holding them back from living a fulfilling life.  I can only do this from personal experience, so am now grateful for the hell that I’ve been through. I have also realised that I have a lot of simple skills that I can share.  I don’t need an office or headed notepaper.   All I need is trust in myself & the path that I am being led along.  I have that in abundance!

Strange skills are making themselves visible to me, choices that I never would have considered.  I am writing blogs,  poetry,  I am offering help in many different ways.  In each new challenge I find payment in kind.

Tomorrow, or rather later on today I am holding a free relaxation group for clients, carers & staff at Heads Up.  Two things spring to mind here – firstly,  me leading the session?  Voluntarily?  Me who not too many years ago couldn’t even speak to a stranger. Me who was agoraphobic for nearly 17 years.  Me who was such a wreck that I couldn’t cope with life!     Secondly I am in the laughable situation that I am always chattering, laughing, active, always talking too much, yet I find that I can lead a group of people, with a quiet sense of serenity that I never would have thought possible.  I wrote the session myself, have written a guided relaxation exercise without really even trying & have many more waiting to be penned.   I have found something in me that I didn’t know, a strength through gentleness, a voice through quietness, a new direction that I hadn’t ever imagined.

Another aspect to this class is – what if no one turns up?  The absolute truth is that it doesn’t matter.  I don’t feel like I need to prove anything anymore.   I am giving the session,  I have the room booked, I have the music, the oils, the mats & the words ready.  If I am the only person in that session, it will be because that is what I need.  I will run the session even if it is just for myself.  I will gain a lot from it, whether I have a room full of people, or just me.  I will gain peace & serenity in there, which I can utilise to send out to those in need.

WOW!   How blessed & fortunate am I?

Love & blessings

Rosie 🕉

                             *****************************************************************************

Here is a link to my new blog site which I hope to fill with words, prose, poetry & inspirations both from my darkest days & my brightest.  I would be delighted if you would give it a read & maybe follow it. Thanks.   The site is rosie-anne bright.wordpress.com 

The power of positive affirmations

Healing through affirmations

recently I have been quite unwell & I have felt incredibly weak & in excruciating pain.   At first I thought it was a fibromyalgia flare – something that regularly happens with fibromyalgia sufferers, yet nothing seemed to help it on it’s way.   I had tried resting,  working through it,  ignoring it,  dosing myself up on medication & on herbal supplements,  getting crabby with myself & my cat,  burying my head in the sand  until eventually  I began to despair!

As a Reiki Master I am usually able to bring my pain under some form of control, but I had got so desperate to relieve my pain that I had even stopped trusting myself.

At that point I realised that I needed to face the situation squarely & not procrastinate – actually DO SOMETHING! But what?

My most reliable advisor is the voice that comes to me during meditation,  so surely it was time to actually ASK for help & guidance.  After all, what was stopping me except pride?  I had felt so well for so long that I didn’t want to accept that I was not  on top of things. My social life was really suffering & I had been cancelling all kinds of commitments, which in turn made me feel really unhappy.  It had become a horrible vicious cycle.

Deep inside I knew that I had the ability to do something about it all, after all we all have the power to make changes to our situations, the challenge is actually trusting ourselves enough to do it!  So I knew that I needed to practice what I preach.           I finally found the humility to ask for guidance, not for healing as such, just the key to how I should tackle my problems.  I prayed , not in the formal head bowed, bended  knees type of praying, but in a quiet, personal conversation with my chosen Deity. It really shouldn’t make any difference what religion you follow, the important thing is your relationship with your Higher Power. ( I have chosen not to discuss my beliefs in detail on here because I want people to judge me on my words & ideas, not on my religious path)

Almost as soon as I began to ask for guidance, I knew that I knew the answer. I continued to pray & did a little meditation, then suddenly it all became so blindingly obvious!!!                        I had half heartedly tried to convince myself that I was feeling better & wondered why it hadn’t been very effective. My Father used to describe this as being positive with a doubt!  Incredibly accurate assessment.   At this blinding light of revelation, I jumped up ( yes, literally jumped, I normally have to haul myself up!)   And to the astonishment of my little cat, I dashed to my living room, to write down what I knew I must do.

I wrote, not one but 7 copies of an affirmation, which I then stuck to various points in my flat.  With each copy that I wrote, I repeated the affirmation many times, this serves a couple of purposes. Writing it , rather than printing it out helps to fix the words in the brain, it also helps to make sure that the affirmation ‘flows’.  If it doesn’t flow easily, it is less likely to feel believable & therefore achieveable.

For a couple of days, every time I saw one of the reminders, I’d repeat the affirmation several times & could feel the belief growing stronger. After the first day I was feeling a lot better, By the second, I could feel myself growing stronger, happier & healhier.  Now, several days on, the reminders are still on my walls, I could have removed them, especially as I knew the affirmation word for word, but I need to keep reminding myself!

The guidance that I’d received had helped me realise that it wasn’t just pain relief that I needed.  I need to understand that I had brought much of my pain on myself, through pride, through believing that I knew better than my body. I had been forced to observe humility as a form of penance.

We must never stop learning & relearning. We are mere mortals, not super beings.

We are here to do our best with what we have, no amount of medication can take the pain away permanently if our belief is that we are still unwell.  That is why it’s so important to repeat the affirmations in a clear, concise way, seeing the outcome as having already come to fruition. Doubting the outcome would make the whole activity pointless!

I am so much better now, although I know that I still have work to do on my bodily self improvement, as well as working on my spiritual side.  If I just said thanks & got back to normal, what would I have learnt?  So I am still taking things a bit easy, even though it means missing out on a few things.  Because I have learnt a valuable lesson, I hope not to repeat my mistakes, but who knows?   But my intent is unshakeable.  I still repeat the affirmations although not as often now. I have written it in my affirmations book that I carry everywhere I go.   This has certainly helped me through a very difficult time. Hopefully you may find something that will encourage you to try it too.                   I am filled with gratitude & always will be. This relatively simple technique has helped me through a lot of difficult situations, I feel very honoured & blessed to be able to do it. It is a wonderful feeling, knowing that I have been able to play a part in helping myself.

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Affirmations can be used for many purposes. They work particularly well with gaining confidence, courage, strength, willpower etc. There are many ways to practice them, I am not saying that my way is the best, it is however, as my blog site title says – it’s as I see it.    I do urge you to try using affirmations, feel free to research, or even better, find your own  way.  The important thing is that if you give out a positive statement repeatedly, it will send that message out into the Universe, helping it to manifest.

Good luck, love & blessings

Rosie ximage