Category: Uncategorized

I have recently set up as a motivational coach. I am positive that it is the right thing for me to do, I’m sure that all the rubbish that I have been through during my life has to have been for a reason.

It was quite a difficult step to take, there are a lot of expenses involved in setting up a business but I had no savings! I scrimped every penny that I could find, sold a lot of belongings ( good for letting go!) and eventually was able to put down a couple of months rental on a lovely, bright office, with room for a couple of comfortable chairs, workspace & enough room to erect my massage table if a reiki treatment is required. Insurance was a large expense too, but absolutely vital. Next was the question of business cards & advertising – no problem thinks me!   Hmm, wrong!    A very carefully worded flyer turned out to be far too small print & much too overcrowded, so further expense needed to buy another batch. Even my business cards need correcting, as without thinking I changed the name of my business, but I intend to place a sticker with the correct address on each & every one. Yes it will be a little unprofessional, but if the business is right ( which I am sure it is) then potential clients will have to accept that I am not perfect!  It would be so easy just to order more, to hell with the cost ( isn’t that what credit cards are for?) but I am staying strong & making do. How can I advice others if I don’t practice what I preach?

The biggest lesson for me has been needing patience, patience, patience. I want to be successful -NOW!  Not the way to get the Universe on side.  Each time I think that I am ready, something else crops up. Add to that the little matter of ill health which rears it’s ugly head when I push my body too far & I have been made to reflect on the wisdom of rushing  headlong into such a commitment. However the answer is the same, I need to do this. If I procrastinate I’ll never do it, so headlong was the only way for me.

Next was a very difficult decision to make – my income is very low, only a basic pension, so I get help with things like my council tax & dental costs, dare I risk losing that extra income?  There really was no question, I don’t believe that I could succeed if my life was based on a lie. 

TRUST!

I have asked the Universe for guidance & have total trust in the answers that I have been given. If everything was easy it wouldn’t really be worth doing. So I notified the authorities of my intentions & have been relieved to find that they will check my profit & losses once or twice a year & adjust any help according to the results.  I am not aiming at making a fortune, nice if it happened but not vital. I want to do this because I have a burning desire to help others. As long as I can pay my way, I’ll be content.

So many lessons have come out of this period, some obvious, some totally unexpected but I haven’t had any real wobble or sense of doubt. I was brought up not to be too pleased with myself, but there is a little sense of quiet pride, that is rubbing shoulders with the humility that I am trying to cultivate.

Life seems so full of contradictions & complications, yet I am happily going with the flow.  I have a wonderful voluntary job working with people with memory loss , I have also set up a regular support group for those in need of it, in a local coffee shop. I have had to make many sacrifices, not least my swimming pass. I have had to keep out of charity shops, except for donating. But in the grand scheme of things, surely these are a small price to pay?

When I finish helping my first paying client & am able to see that I have made a positive difference, I really will feel wealthy & blessed

I wish you all peace, love & contentment

Rosie X 

 

my goodness I have just been taught a lesson in patience!

I have just spent quite a long time writing my first blog in three months. It was quite long, detailed & certainly from the heart. I was dubious whether it was right to publish it as it was almost too self gratifying ( not intentional) thinking about it, it made me sound a bit like Mother Teresa!!  Feeling fairly satisfied with my efforts, I hit save draft – except that I obviously hit delete instead!!!

Not that long ago I would have been furious with myself for my stupidity. Not now. Of course I’m annoyed that I lost it all, but that’s it!  It really wasn’t that important. My actions need to be my measure, not what I tell the world.  If the story needs to be told, it will somehow, or sometime, otherwise I will use the lesson in humility to get an early night in bed, I need that far more than the glory of some praise.

Thankyou for reading this unexpected mini blog. 

Rosie x

  

once again today someone told me that they are always too busy to find time for themselves. This person is struggling and admits that she would like to meditate or learn to relax more but she can’t because she hasn’t got the time.      Like so many people, I can relate to this.     For so long I was so wrapped up in being busy, being stressed & uptight – ‘how could I possibly manage to squeeze in time for a luxury like relaxation? ‘  In reality the question should have been ‘how can I not find time?’   Relaxation isn’t a luxury, it’s vital to maintain a healthy, happy life!   Rushing around, filling in every spare moment just isn’t healthy!   Sooner or later the body (and mind) will rebel, often by going through some form of breakdown.

We all live such busy lives nowadays,   We hold down jobs,  sometimes more than one,    raise a family,  often struggle with debts,  mortgages & similar, often with little or no family support.        We may  get ourselves stressed  trying to afford a holiday to enable us to relax, but surely there is a much simpler way?

The good news is that there is,   The bad news is that the solution is something that only you can do!

It may sound a bit unlikely but by learning to slow down & do less you will normally find that you have more spare time!   Most of us will know the story of the tortoise & the hare – the slower animal wins the race, he doesn’t dash around, he simply plods along at a steady pace until he reaches the finish line.     Life is like that too

Who am I really?.

I am a strong, confident woman. I am no better nor worse than any other being, but I am an individual. Unique. Above all I am a kind person, a good friend, empathetic supporter to those in need & ultimately growing into the person that I have always wanted to be.
Thankyou to the Universe for everything that led me to this wonderful point in my life.
Thankyou to my friends for accepting my quirkiness.

I am Rosie & I love it☺️☺️☺️

Most of us ask ourselves about the reason for our being here, likewise asking ourselves ” who am I really?”

These are questions that tend to become more important as we get older.   Around our 40s & 50s many people, especially woman have difficulty in accepting their new home situation as children fly the nest, maybe through going on to University or even setting up their own home.         While this can be a welcome move, bringing the promise of a more peaceful life & more financial freedom, it can come at a high price!         This is sometimes known as empty nest syndrome. Mothers & Fathers can find themselves going through a mid life crisis. They may behave strangely or out of character, sometimes chasing dreams of their past, trying to relive what they feel that they have lost. At this time marriages can fall apart, affairs seem appealing or depression & anxiety can take over their life.      Obviously this doesn’t happen to everyone, some people love this new freedom & relish making the most of the free time that they now have.    If this is you, you are very fortunate!        But for the rest of us, take heart – there is light at the end of the tunnel!

During this period in our lives, it can become evident that our homemaking skills are not needed in the same way as before.    Many people, including myself become tortured by selfdoubt, thinking that they are no longer wanted or needed.   Feelings of inadequacy are very common.   This  is not really surising when you consider that many of us have become accustomed to being  ‘just Mum /Dad’  we are referred to as ‘so & so’s wife/ Husband/ Partner,  we are a Son/ Daughter,  employee, friend, neighbour & so on…………

what about ME?

This can be quite a scary question.  Some people chose to ignore it, maybe drinking too much or trying to find other ways to blot it out, but the question is still there – & it’s very real!

Now that our previous skills are needed less, many of us have a burning desire to discover the real person that they feel they should be.  For me this happened in a very big way.  Having been a Mother since a teenager & wife to 3 different men, I was used to thinking that my life began & ended at my front door.         Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved being a Mum, ( always will!)  I took great pleasure in seeing my children happy but once they had left home, I began to wonder what the point of it all was.    I had left school at 15yrs with no qualifications, married my first love & although I’d had a few meaningless jobs,  I. had never really considered a life beyond my family.

I knew that I was reasonably intelligent, was creative, interested in people, but what use was that?     I had lost all of my confidence & couldn’t envisage a future being a nothing, a nobody!           At this point I felt invisible,  I felt that I had no right to an opinion, after all, all I really knew about was child rearing!         I wrestled with such depression & low self esteem that I tried to blend into the background. I felt worthless!

My marriage went the way of so many, it collapsed under the weight of trying to find myself  &  to make my mark on the world.     No longer a wife & with little contact with my family, I tried to end my life several times until it occurred to me that I have to have been put on this Earth for a reason .    There my quest really began…………….

In my enforced solitude in a tiny retirement apartment, I started to think about my own self, this was very difficult at first.     For the first time in years I could spend time with friends, or pampering myself without guilt.       I discovered that I loved it!          I loved being my own boss,  going to bed when I chose,  eating my own choice of food, being responsible for my own decisions.    My confidence started to grow,   slowly at first,  but with every little  achievement  I grew stronger.

I found a sense of humour that can be a bit off the wall, but it was MY sense of humour.   Bit by bit I found out what makes me happy.   In my case I gain satisfaction from helping other people & now realise how useful my difficult  past can be.        I find that learning anything new is a joy,    I have taken up many wonderful pastimes.   I am learning T’ai Chi,   I have taken up exercise & also lead a class for elderly neighbours.   Recently I decided that I would like to work with & support vulnerable  elderly people.    I’m not 100% sure yet which form this will take, but one thing is for sure, it will happen!      I relish a challenge!      I am no longer scared of tomorrow !         I am becoming more creative again,  writing being a particular passion.      Every day life gets better.     I feel so contented!       I don’t have much, but need even less.     My life hasn’t been wasted,  it’s all been a useful learning curve.       I am determined to lead a good, useful life & don’t intend to allow my disability to stop me.

I suppose the best thing for me is looking in a mirror & realising that I like being me.       So although I may not have made a set plan for my future,    I know that I am strong enough to keep changing,  evolving.    I am no longer ‘only’ anything……..

I am Rosie.     I am me.         I am happy!

I have made that change & so can you.          You don’t need to be single, all you need is to recognise that YOU count.               So why not make that change?

We are all capable of being happy,  but in most cases we need to be true to ourselves.           Take that gamble.         Take that leap of personal faith.             You are stronger than you believe!,

I wish you all the happiness & luck in the world 😊

One extremely important lesson that I have recently learnt is that of de- cluttering.   Those who have known me for years will probably be trying to stifle a snigger, as I have been living in a state of chaos for years.    But that is the point!       I was really untidy, not that I wanted to be, I just couldn’t get motivated enough to organise myself.  Also I collected things that I couldn’t imagine living without.  Why?

The answer is simple, i wasn’t ready to let go of anything – physical or emotional.   Although I hated the way that I lived, I needed to hate it! Yes it sounds daft but it was like my security blanket.   No one expects much from you when you live in such a mess.    The same applied to my appearance –   I have been grossly overweight for most of my life, but it’s easy to hide when you are so fat,       you become almost invisible to most people.   I could look at myself in a mirror, hate what I saw, hate myself over again, yet feel ‘safe’.        I looked and felt rubbish, so it was no surprise if I was treated as such – & the biggest abuser was myself!   It took a year of supportive therapy for me to understand this.

Thankfully I came across a book on de- cluttering your life and my life changed in ways that I could never have expected!

The  biggest thing that I learnt was that I needed to ‘let go’. Not just of  un needed belongings, but of everything that was holding me back from getting on with my life.

I’m not sure which aspect of my life was the most difficult to let go of, but probably my self loathing was the most important!   However I needed to make practical changes     BIG ONES!

~~~~~~~~~~

On the day that I made the decision to declutter, I began straight away.  I remember that I couldn’t sleep because I knew that what I’d read about letting go was vital & so, at about 2.30am I got out of bed, grabbed a few bin bags & started emptying my drawers of clothes that I’d held on to,  just in case!     In case of what?   I’m  not sure , somethings  in case I gained weight,    some in case I lost weight.   Some clothes that I loved because they reminded me of the old me, some that I had bought just because I could!!!        That night I filled 4 bags, which I was able to send to charity.    Then I began to scour my apartment for anything that I didn’t particularly like or need.                 I think that if we are honest, most of us have posessions that we don’t know why we keep, we just can’t part with them.

Over the past few months I have been amazed at the amount of clutter that held bad memories, so why I held onto them will always be a mystery!      Even now, a day never passes without me letting go of something,  although where I had stored it, goodness knows!    This has had an added bonus that when I see how much the charity shops sell my things for,   I  am. delighted,   I feel   useful!   However one difficult lesson is that it isn’t just unwanted items that needed to go,  often it is something that I really love, or cost me a lot, but don’t need, or have bought  for selfish reasons.     These are hard to part with but  that makes  it more rewarding.

**************************************

Once I had begun the physical clearing,    it started me thinking about other aspects of my life…………

I have many food intolerances yet had continued to suffer because I couldn’t manage without bread  ( or other similar grain)   regardless of how ill  it made me.  How ridiculous!    So I stopped eating wheat, then many other foodstuffs followed.   With each food that I elimitated ,I felt so much better, which gave me the courage to continue.    Now I eat no animal product, with the exception of an occasional egg.    I  live a wheat free, dairy free, low sugar, alcohol free life.   I have lost over 41/2 stone which took away some of the self loathing.   I began to look good.  People began to comment on my achievements. so. I began to feel good.    I started to care about myself.  I found an interest in healthy cooking, trying new exciting ingredients.  I found that I loved things that I had told myself that I always hated.  I was taking positive risks & loved it!

********************************

Of course none of the changes that I’d made could make much difference unless I also learnt to declutter my head & heart.   I wrote pages & pages of simple poetry, as I found it easier to express myself in that way.   I began to understand how my depression had held me captive for so many years.

I learnt to forgive those who had hurt me, but more importantly I learnt how to forgive myself.

I learnt how to still my mind through meditation, yoga & Tai Chi.

I discovered that silence needn’t be scary.

I learnt to trust the Universe. There was a reason that I was here on this Earth & it certainly wasn’t so I could abuse myself.

*****************************

I found that the atmosphere in my home had changed, it felt lighter, calmer. I felt at peace.    I finally felt contentment.

Since that first de cluttering book I have learnt an awful lot about the subject, some of it from reading & studying, but by far the biggest part has been through trusting my intuition.   I have learnt what works for me.

My home is still full of belongings, but everything that I now have is here because I love it & gain something from having it.

My bitterness has gone, in giving away so much, I have gained such reward!    I rarely sell anything, preferring to give things to those in need.     Not because I’m a wonderful person,  but because I have learnt to care for something other than my own sadness.

Nothing very positive can be cultivated in a home/ head & heart filled with rubbish.    Since letting go of my bad memories & misery, I have made space for new, wonderful opportunities .    In clearing space I have made room for new, good things to enter my life – and believe me, it has!

Maybe it is something that could work for you too?    Yes it is a drastic step to take, but a necessary one in a lot of our lives.

it can also be scary, but imagine that you are a toddler taking your first independent steps – you’ll be unsteady, will probably have several falls, but with every step you will get stronger & steadier.

No one can make you do this, or do it for you. Paying someone else to do it won’t work either.

You are the one who needs to take these steps, but remember,  you are the one who have everything to gain!

So where are those rubbish bags????

Happy sorting.  ☺️ 👍

As a post script,  I have realised that I needed so many belongings, because They were MINE.    I have lost so much in my life that I needed to be in control. To know that no one could take them away from me. I needed security – but that doesn’t come from what you own.

it comes from within 💛