I am acutely aware that I have been neglecting this blog site & apologise to my followers for my irregular posting.
Life has been extremely hectic. I have spent months attempting to set up a group aimed at alleviating loneliness in the local community, but unfortunately I have had to admit defeat, it’s been almost impossible to attract anyones’ interest, and without getting people through the doors,I was unable to cover hall rental, so sadly I had to abandon my project. I didn’t enjoy giving up, I felt a failure, but deep down I know that I did everything I think my power to try to get it off the ground. Abandoning it was the only sensible option.
It must be a significant time for abandoning projects – Since I last posted, I have decided to relocate to the coast, prepared my flat for sale & put it on the market. I found a new home, was busily packing, when I suddenly realised how foolish I would be to leave. I have a great life here in Wells. I have a wide support system, great friends & several enjoyable voluntary jobs, I even have a monthly column in the local newspaper. Why on earth was I considering leaving? So I changed my mind & just as quickly as I had put my home up for sale, it was removed.
Changing your mind, or direction is often seen as a failure, but I totally disagree. So many times in my past I have gone ahead with plans, even though I have had second thoughts, because I didn’t have the courage to stand up tall & say that my earlier decision was wrong. There’s no shame in it, in fact I think it shows greater strength. Far too many people behave like sheep. They follow the flock, keep their heads down & are afraid to stray from the expected path. Why? Our instincts will tell us when we are making a mistake, we need to learn to trust ourselves. If we listen to that nagging doubt, rather than attempt to override it, life would be much happier. Why shouldn’t people be allowed to turn around, or even go in a totally different direction? The younger generation tend to find it easier to do, us oldies are usually too nervous or afraid of causing disharmony to go against the laid down plans.
It’s never too late to change direction, no matter what aspect of life it entails. Of course we need to consider the effect on family members & other nearest & dearest, it would take a steely resolve to totally ignore their feelings. However, when it comes to the bottom line, if we learnt to think of our own happiness & treat ourselves with more consideration & respect, the world would be filled with a lot more happy people. Maybe this sounds selfish, but think about it? We all know people / families where repressed anger has turned to spite & unpleasantness. Sometimes blame & misery has lasted almost an entire lifetime, simply because one partner was coerced into doing something against their will that they had felt unable to refuse. I for one know only too well how that felt. I was blessed with the courage to leave a violent, unhappy marriage & set out alone an unchartered path as a singleton. It has been scary at times, being alone, miles from family support isn’t easy & there have been many times when I almost ran back, tail between my legs, but I listened to the gut feeling. I knew that I was on the right path for me. I’m not sure what caused my little wobble & near foray into relocation, but it really isn’t important, I know that I am where I belong. Hopefully this will be my forever home, but who knows? However if the time ever comes to change my mind again, I will do it & no, I won’t be apologising for it.
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